Ephesians 5:21
Ep. 102

Ephesians 5:21

Episode description

A Verse-by-Verse Expository Sermon on Ephesians 5:21 from August 24.

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0:00

along with our low humidity front with

0:02

thoughts of cooler weather. I think it would

0:07

probably be

0:08

a safe bet that there's not too many other

0:11

churches in Baton Rouge this Sunday morning

0:14

who have sung a song filled with the fury and

0:17

wrath of God to the hymn of a Christmas hymn.

0:21

That's us! That's how we roll when it's

0:24

fantastic. If you have your Bibles turned with

0:27

me to Ephesians,

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chapter 5 and verse 21, this is where we left

0:33

off last time we were in Ephesians,

0:36

but today, let me be a little bit different.

0:41

This is going to be a foundation laying sermon

0:46

to prepare you for the whole next section of

0:50

verses that we're going to have that deal with

0:54

the subject of the family. So this won't be an

0:57

exact exposition. We did a little bit of exp

1:00

osition

1:01

specifically of verse 21, and it will be in

1:03

some regard, but it's going to be broader than

1:06

that,

1:06

because in today's world that we live in,

1:11

subjects like wives submit to your own

1:18

husbands seem like

1:21

something out of the handmaid's tale. If you

1:23

're familiar with that show that's streaming,

1:26

it's these ladies in red dresses and white bon

1:28

nets, and it really mocks the Christian faith

1:31

and how

1:31

men are domineering over the Christian ladies.

1:34

But no matter whether you've watched that or

1:36

not,

1:37

you know what I'm speaking of. Even in

1:39

conservative churches, the influence of our

1:43

culture has made

1:46

a mark on so many believers that this idea of

1:50

wives submitting to your husband seems like

1:55

something that's outdated, or at least maybe

1:59

we ought to skip over that part and just kind

2:02

of move

2:02

along. But I'm going to try to demonstrate to

2:06

you today that nothing could be further from

2:09

the truth

2:10

on this whole section about the family that we

2:12

're fixing to look at, and I really want to

2:15

take some

2:15

time explaining what I mean by that. We may

2:19

even take two sermons to do this. I'm going to

2:22

determine

2:22

that next week. My goal, as you know, is

2:27

always to help us all understand these texts

2:31

in Scripture

2:32

verse by verse. That's the subject matter of

2:35

our sermons, not a topic, but a text. And as

2:39

you know,

2:39

this book is literally God Breathe, inspired,

2:43

and therefore what it requires from us is

2:47

careful

2:48

study and thorough exposition. And God's ways

2:53

are the best ways. And when it comes to the

2:57

family,

2:59

I do not trust the culture to tell me how

3:04

things should work in the family. I only trust

3:10

the Lord

3:10

and His Word, no matter how contrary His Word

3:16

may be to the culture.

3:18

But I understand, again, how all of us have

3:22

been affected by the world's way of thinking

3:27

about

3:28

verses like why I submit to your husbands. And

3:33

so I want to make sure I explain God's way as

3:38

best as I

3:38

can so that you can see that it is the best

3:43

way. It should be plain and easy to see that

3:48

for quite

3:48

a while now, we have been watching the death

3:52

of the family, the traditional family here in

3:56

our

3:56

nation. A lot of our problems today here in

4:00

our country can be traced back to the sexual

4:03

revolution

4:04

of the 1960s. You can really go back to the

4:07

Enlightenment, but really the 60s out of all

4:09

of

4:10

that time period came an ever-increasing

4:13

divorce rate. For example, the divorce rate in

4:18

the early

4:18

1960s for first-time marriages was around 20%.

4:23

20% of first-time marriages ended in divorce,

4:27

but by the end of the 1960s, it had grown to

4:32

25%. Today, on average, and there's a lot of

4:35

different

4:35

factors, but this is just a general average,

4:40

41% of first-time marriages in divorce in the

4:44

United

4:45

States of America, and second marriages, 60 to

4:50

70% of second marriages in America end in

4:54

divorce.

4:54

Also, out of the 1960s, the women's liberation

4:59

movement, the leftist feminism that we see

5:04

so prevalent today really began to ramp up in

5:07

the 60s. Also, what we know as the LGBT

5:12

movement

5:12

started to kick in gear in the 1960s, as well

5:16

as an ever-increasing rate of abortion and the

5:21

rise

5:21

of the pro-choice movement. Now, before the 60

5:25

s, there were abortions, but you didn't hear

5:28

about

5:28

them. Nobody talked about that even. It was

5:31

something that was kept quiet. And then don't

5:34

forget about the influence of Marxism in our

5:38

colleges, which started back then but now has

5:42

fully taken over many of our major

5:44

universities. Marxism has also infiltrated our

5:48

politics and

5:50

it's even made its way into the church. Think

5:54

cultural Marxism, critical race theory, DEI,

5:58

all things woke have infiltrated so many of

6:01

our evangelical churches. All of these things

6:05

and

6:05

more that I could list have one major thing in

6:09

common together, and that is they are all

6:14

anti-traditional family. Every one of those

6:16

things. John MacArthur said, "We are watching

6:20

the formation

6:21

of the rope that strangles the family to death

6:24

." In a book named The Death of the Family, a

6:28

British

6:28

doctor suggests this, quote, "Doing away with

6:31

the family completely because he says it is a

6:35

primary

6:35

conditioning device for a Western imperial

6:39

istic worldview." That's the kind of people

6:43

that are

6:43

teaching your kids and colleges these days

6:45

with those types of opinions. Feminist Kate

6:48

Millette

6:49

in her book Sexual Politics wrote this, "The

6:54

family must go because it oppresses and ensl

6:59

aves

6:59

women." Boy, I bet she's nice, huh? "The

7:04

people who hold these perspectives are

7:10

aggressive, intelligent

7:13

and find their most fertile ground for pushing

7:16

their viewpoints in our nation's universities

7:20

,"

7:20

as I said, and that is where they literally re

7:23

educate the young people when they get there.

7:26

Many of those young people go on to fall into

7:29

the category of political and business leaders

7:32

in our society, especially the upper crust

7:35

elite Ivy League schools. This has been going

7:39

on

7:40

for quite some time. This is what produces

7:44

politicians like Alexandria Ocasio Cotes,

7:47

better known as AOC, if you know who I'm

7:49

talking about. If you listen to some of her

7:52

views,

7:53

you will see the product of Marxism in our

7:56

colleges. This T. Grace Atkinson of the

8:02

National

8:02

Organization for Women once expressed her

8:08

desire to eliminate all sex, all marriage, all

8:12

motherhood

8:13

and all love. Now what a home run for a

8:18

civilization that would come to an end is what

8:23

it would do.

8:24

She said this, "Marriage is legalized serv

8:29

itude and family relations are the basis for

8:33

all human

8:34

oppression." Now, this line of thinking,

8:39

besides being warped, insane and sad,

8:42

is literally a religion for these people. That

8:46

's why they're so hostile when you encounter

8:50

them.

8:51

Church, let me tell you something. If the

8:53

family cannot function,

8:54

then who will raise and socialize and moralize

8:58

the next generation? Sadly, though many do not

9:03

hold

9:04

to these viewpoints of these extreme leftists

9:07

that I've quoted today, the power and the

9:10

infiltration

9:11

of them into our society filtered down, even

9:15

into the church, as I said, in a way that

9:18

makes many

9:19

consider a wife submitting to her husband as

9:23

the head of the household as old, archaic, opp

9:27

ressive,

9:28

outdated, and certainly not a view to be held

9:31

by modern, intelligent people. Over 30 years

9:35

ago,

9:36

Dr. Arman Nikolai of Harvard Medical School

9:41

cited some reasons and some startling

9:45

predictions

9:46

about the devastating trend to destroy the

9:49

family in America. He wrote about the

9:54

dominance of television

9:56

in American culture, the chaos and moral

10:00

confusion in our society, the lack of

10:04

communication in

10:05

families, the increasing rate of divorce and

10:08

its devastating effects upon children. Listen

10:12

to this

10:13

that he wrote over 30 years ago. These trends

10:18

will incapacitate the family, destroy its

10:23

integrity,

10:24

and cause its members to suffer such crippling

10:27

emotional conflicts that they will become an

10:30

intolerable burden to society. What about the

10:33

future? So here he's going to make some

10:35

predictions.

10:36

First, the quality of family life will

10:38

continue to deteriorate, producing a society

10:41

with a higher

10:42

incidence of mental illness than ever before.

10:45

Ding, ding, ding. He got that one right.

10:48

He says 95% of our hospital beds may be taken

10:52

up by mentally ill paces. Now thank God that

10:56

didn't

10:56

work out, but there's a much higher rate now.

10:59

Ask my daughter who works on the psych unit at

11:02

the Baton Rouge General than there were 30

11:04

years ago in our mental illness psych units.

11:07

Listen to

11:07

this one. We can expect the assassination of

11:09

people in authority to be frequent occurrences

11:12

.

11:12

The first thing I thought of was the math club

11:14

shooter that we know nothing about that shot

11:17

Donald Trump. Crimes of violence will increase

11:20

even those within the family. The suicide rate

11:23

will

11:24

rise. Guess what I checked? The suicide rate

11:27

in America has ribboned over 35% in the last

11:30

30 years.

11:31

35% increase and sexuality becomes more and

11:35

more unlimited and separated from emotional

11:37

and family

11:38

commitment. The degrading effect will cause

11:41

more bizarre experimentation and widespread

11:45

perversion. That is a home run if I ever heard

11:48

one of a prediction and consider this.

11:51

That last part right there was written before

11:55

there ever was an internet. Think about that.

12:00

Easy free access to pornography has exploded

12:03

since the invention of the smartphone and this

12:06

has

12:06

produced alarming statistics. Listen to this

12:11

one. Just since 2020 there has been a 62.5

12:18

increase

12:19

in federal convictions for child sexual abuse.

12:23

62.5%. That's convictions folks. That is from

12:29

being

12:29

arrested to being tried to going before a

12:32

judge. That's just the last five years.

12:35

And that's just federal convictions. That's

12:39

not state convictions. Add to that that it's

12:44

actually only estimated that 4% of actual

12:48

abuse cases wind up with convictions because

12:52

so many

12:53

are not reported. I'm telling you America

12:55

doesn't realize there is an epidemic

12:57

of staggering proportions that we've never

13:00

seen before in this country. It is out of

13:03

control

13:04

and without getting into all the details of

13:06

the reasons there is a direct correlation

13:08

between the massive increase in these kinds of

13:11

crimes and pornography. They go hand in hand.

13:13

This Harvard doctor was predicting this rise

13:17

in perversion as a result of the breakdown of

13:21

the

13:21

family without even being able to conceive of

13:23

an internet at the time that he wrote that.

13:26

He couldn't have even thought of the internet.

13:28

So there really is no question

13:31

about the fact that the family is under major

13:36

assault and when you consider

13:40

how the people in our day want to redefine the

13:45

family in absolutely any way that they want.

13:48

Think about the trend that we see of late with

13:52

two married men adopting a baby. Have you seen

13:56

that?

13:56

It's growing. That's child abuse. That's mill

14:00

stone around the neck territory right there.

14:04

1000%.

14:05

You didn't even, nobody even conceived of

14:08

something like that even just 20 years ago,

14:11

but we see it all over the place now. Also,

14:15

now well into this internet age we have young

14:18

people.

14:19

No social skills at all. Why? They're not

14:22

leaving the house.

14:25

They're staying home and they're only

14:27

interactions they have. They don't come to

14:29

church. They don't

14:30

go anywhere. They just interact with other

14:32

people online, sometimes even robots. That's

14:36

serious. That's their only friends. Listen to

14:39

this statistic right here. Women married

14:42

by the age of 30 fell from 91% in 1976. By the

14:50

age of 30, 91% of young ladies in America were

14:55

married by the age of 30. It fell from 91% in

15:00

1976 to 33% in 2019. And it went from 81% to

15:08

25%

15:08

for men in 2019. And both are certainly even

15:13

lower now in 2025. Per capita murder rates,

15:19

go search that through the roof. Baton Rouge

15:24

top 15 right now in the country for murder. I

15:29

mean,

15:29

I can keep going here, but I think you get the

15:33

picture and nothing that they are doing from

15:37

the

15:37

world's point of view seems to be slowing down

15:41

this process of the disintegration of the

15:44

relationship

15:45

at the very core of life itself, which is the

15:49

family. You can tamper with society in a lot

15:53

of

15:53

ways, but if you destroy the family, you

15:55

destroy society. You need to understand that.

15:58

So what's

15:59

the answer? Man-centered psychology? That hadn

16:03

't helped so far, has it? Got a lot of therapy

16:07

out

16:07

there, don't we? How's that working out? Even

16:10

in the church, last 30 years especially, we've

16:14

seen

16:14

loads of books and seminars and conferences on

16:18

the family, unfortunately mixed with man-

16:22

centered

16:22

psychology with some Bible verses thrown in.

16:26

Let me tell you something. There is a divine

16:29

pattern

16:30

for the family and for marriage that we find

16:33

laid out for us very clearly in the Word of

16:36

God.

16:38

And it's really not that complicated. It's not

16:42

the world's way, which, as I've tried to

16:45

demonstrate

16:46

to you today, is clearly not working and only

16:49

getting worse. I'm telling you, we don't need

16:53

therapists and psychiatrists and experts to

16:56

instruct us about marriage and the family.

16:58

We have in our hands the manufacturer's hand

17:01

book to teach us about God's way to operate in

17:07

the

17:07

family, which is always the best way. And I

17:09

want to start here by getting to you to think

17:12

about

17:12

about what we've studied so far in Ephesians 5

17:16

leading up to verse 21. Remember back real

17:20

quick

17:20

that Paul made a contrast in verse 18 between

17:22

getting drunk with wine and being filled with

17:24

the

17:25

Spirit. If you haven't listened to those

17:27

messages, go back on our Facebook page and

17:29

listen or watch

17:30

those messages. Remember, that's a command.

17:33

That's something we're to be filled with the

17:37

Spirit,

17:37

controlled by the Spirit, guided by the Spirit

17:39

. Remember, carried along by the Spirit. And

17:42

then

17:42

he goes on, he gives us examples. Okay, here's

17:45

some characteristics of the Spirit-filled

17:48

believer.

17:48

Verse 19, "We will speak to one another in p

17:50

salms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and

17:53

making

17:53

melody with your heart to the Lord." We just

17:56

got finished doing that in our worship service

17:58

,

17:58

but basically overall, we have a new nature.

18:00

We have a new song. Remember that? We went

18:02

over that

18:03

when we're filled with the Spirit. And then

18:05

verse 20, "Always giving thanks for some

18:08

things." No,

18:09

all things in the name of our Lord Jesus

18:11

Christ to God, even the Father. Remember, that

18:14

's all the time

18:15

giving thanks for all things, even the bad

18:19

things. Why the bad things? Well, think back.

18:24

Remember,

18:25

because all things good and bad are being used

18:29

by God to bring us along in spiritual maturity

18:33

and to conform us to the image of Christ. In

18:36

result, he gets all the glory. That's why we

18:39

go

18:39

through hard circumstances. They are purposed

18:41

by God for our growth and for His glory. And

18:43

so,

18:43

the thrust of what we have learned so far here

18:46

in Ephesians 5 is that whatever we are going

18:49

to do

18:51

in terms of our Christian life, whether it's

18:54

in marriage, whether it's in our family,

18:57

it has to flow out of a life controlled by the

19:01

Holy Spirit. And folks, that's why

19:05

unbelieving society really has no hope here.

19:09

That's why things are the way they are,

19:14

because they don't know God. They make fun of

19:19

verses like, "Why submit to your husbands?"

19:24

Because that's spiritually appraised right

19:27

there. The natural man cannot comprehend that,

19:31

so what does he do? He mocks it. He makes fun

19:34

of us. And I'm here to tell you that one of

19:37

the greatest

19:38

earthly benefits of being a Christian is that

19:42

the only right kind of marriage relationship

19:45

and family is built upon a redeemed life

19:49

powered and energized by the Holy Spirit in

19:53

obedience to

19:54

the Word of God. So back to what we just read

19:56

in verses 19 and 20. Think about it. Put it

19:59

together.

20:01

A person who is filled with the Spirit is a

20:04

thankful person, a joyful person, not a

20:08

perfect

20:08

person. Did I say that? No, I never say that.

20:11

There's only one perfect person. He's reigning

20:15

and ruling the whole universe right now. But

20:18

the best kind of a person to go through life

20:21

with

20:22

in a marriage relationship is a spirit-filled

20:25

person. A person who knows that the purpose

20:28

of life above all things is not how much money

20:31

we can make, not how great a retirement we can

20:34

have,

20:34

but a person that is spirit-filled knows that

20:37

the purpose and meaning of life is to bring

20:39

glory to

20:40

God. Let me tell you, that's a different kind

20:43

of person than most people. And then, when you

20:48

have

20:48

two people like this that are married, again,

20:54

not perfect, but it's the best that marriage

20:59

can be,

21:00

because it's two people striving to live life

21:05

in obedience to the Word of God as one. That's

21:10

the

21:10

best it can be. It's pretty hard to fight with

21:13

somebody when they're filled with the Spirit

21:18

because they're just too joyful. They're just

21:20

too thankful. They're just too operating

21:24

at that moment an eternal perspective. Now,

21:29

walking in the flesh, all bets are off,

21:33

right, even for the Christian. All bets are

21:36

off when one or more are walking in the flesh.

21:39

Now, next, there's another element of being

21:42

filled with the Spirit we touched on last time

21:45

,

21:45

and this is what I want you to get today, more

21:48

than anything. This right here really sets up

21:52

the

21:52

whole next set of verses that we're fixing to

21:55

study here in Ephesians 5. Look next at verse

21:57

21,

21:58

"And be subject to one another in the fear of

22:03

Christ." Now, real quick, of course, that

22:06

doesn't

22:06

mean you're afraid of Jesus. That's biblical

22:08

fear. That's reverential awe. But look next at

22:12

that phrase,

22:12

"Be subject to one another." That means in

22:16

this verse, to everybody. This is not talking

22:22

about

22:22

wives to husband. This is not talking about

22:25

children to parents. In this context, this is

22:27

talking about everybody in the family of God.

22:31

"Be subject to one another." This right here

22:34

is the

22:35

groundwork. This is the foundation. You get

22:37

this going straight in your life, and this is

22:40

what makes

22:40

for a meaningful marriage. And the word here

22:43

in verse 21, look at it, "subject." It's also

22:47

translated "submit." I like that word better.

22:50

It's the Greek word, "hupotos." It means to

22:54

rank

22:54

under. It's a military term. We are called on

22:58

to place ourselves under each other, submit to

23:02

one

23:02

another. Here in this verse, again, it's a

23:05

generic submission. It's not talking about the

23:08

specific

23:10

relationships within a family. We're fixing to

23:12

get to that. This is for everybody in God's

23:14

family.

23:15

This is what makes for truly Christian

23:18

meaningful relationships when a person is

23:22

controlled by

23:23

the Spirit of God, filled with joy and thanks

23:25

giving for everything in life, striving to live

23:28

obediently

23:28

to the Word of God and for the glory of God,

23:31

and they willfully submit to other people as

23:35

more

23:35

important than their selves. That's what this

23:37

is talking about. Now, side note, you've got

23:42

to have

23:42

your own house in order before you can do this

23:45

with others. This takes spiritual maturity.

23:49

And in case you think that this idea is only

23:52

found once in this particular verse,

23:56

let me show you how dominant this idea is in

23:58

the Bible, in the New Testament. 1 Corinthians

24:01

16-16,

24:04

that you also be in subjection to such men and

24:08

to everyone who helps in the works

24:12

and the labors. And he's talking about within

24:13

the context of the church there,

24:15

in the church. Hebrews 3, 13, Hebrews 13, 17

24:19

says this, "Obey your leaders and what?

24:23

Submit to them." 1 Peter 2, 13, "Submit

24:29

yourselves for the Lord's sake

24:31

to every human institution, whether to a king

24:34

as one in authority." That's the laws of the

24:36

land and the leaders of the land, unless they

24:38

are trying to get you something to do

24:40

something

24:41

that's against the Word of God and that point

24:42

you don't. 1 Peter 5, "You younger men

24:47

likewise,

24:48

be subject to your elders and all of you, cl

24:51

othe yourselves with humility toward one

24:54

another."

24:55

The only way you can submit yourself to one

24:58

another is through humility. And then again,

25:01

here in Ephesians 5, 21, "And be subject to

25:04

one another, us across the board, other

25:06

Christians."

25:06

Now listen, no believer is inherently superior

25:13

to any other believer. In our standing before

25:18

God,

25:19

we are all equal in every way. That's why we

25:22

know salvation is not by works, it's by Christ

25:25

's work

25:25

on our behalf, right? This is the supreme idea

25:30

of true humility, no better illustrated than

25:34

when

25:34

Jesus washed the disciples' feet. He said to

25:38

them, "I want you to love each other in the

25:42

same way

25:43

that I have loved you." And how did he love

25:46

them? Enough to get down on the ground and

25:49

humble himself,

25:50

though he was God incarnate and washed the

25:53

dirty, filthy feet of a bunch of proud, self-

25:57

centered

25:57

disciples who were at that time arguing about

26:00

who was going to be the greatest in the

26:02

kingdom

26:03

while he was on the brink of giving his life

26:05

for them. That's what this means. That's the

26:08

idea.

26:09

We also find it in Philippians 2 verses 3 to 4

26:11

. Look at this. "Do nothing from selfishness,

26:14

or empty conceit, but with humility of mind,

26:18

regard one another as more important than

26:22

yourselves.

26:23

Do not merely look out for your own personal

26:25

interests, but also for the interests of

26:28

others."

26:29

That's what we're talking about here. And Paul

26:31

goes on to tell us that that is precisely the

26:33

attitude of Jesus who didn't hold on to the

26:36

idea and the reality of being equal with God,

26:39

but humbled himself for our sake and became

26:42

obedient unto death, even the death of a cross

26:45

.

26:45

Can you consider others as more important than

26:51

yourself? Let me tell you, that takes

26:57

spiritual

26:58

maturity. As I've said many times, not easy,

27:01

but possible in the power of the Holy Spirit.

27:06

Our marriages and our families are going to

27:10

fulfill, if they're going to fulfill the

27:13

divine

27:13

purpose. Folks, these are the issues at stake.

27:17

And what it really comes down to is a matter

27:21

of

27:21

spiritual commitment. You can look out at our

27:25

side to today in 2025, and you can see that

27:31

this

27:31

will not happen amongst the unbelieving.

27:35

Because what's the prevailing trend of today?

27:41

Self-centeredness. Self-centered pride. I will

27:47

stay with you as long as you give me what I

27:53

want,

27:53

and you meet my needs, and when you don't, I'm

27:57

out of there. That's a scenario played out

28:02

regularly

28:03

in those 41% of first-time marriages to end a

28:06

divorce and also doubly so in second marriages

28:10

.

28:10

Today's, what's the emphasis on everybody? Me.

28:12

Individual rights. My freedoms. My needs

28:18

being met. My self-esteem. And all of that

28:21

individualistic thinking is absolutely deadly

28:25

to any meaningful marriage relationship or

28:28

family relationship. If there's one thing,

28:32

if I had to pick out one number one thing of

28:35

all the couples that I've counseled with and

28:38

married

28:39

during my years in ministry, there is one word

28:43

that is the key above all words to a

28:46

successful

28:47

marriage that has to be true of both the

28:51

husband and the wife. And that one word is

28:55

this. Selfless.

28:57

Selfless. If both are not selfless, you're

29:04

going to run into problems.

29:08

If you want to live as disconnected people in

29:11

a boarding house, have one or more in the

29:15

marriage

29:16

relationship be more interested in their self-

29:20

fulfillment than giving to their spouse. Have

29:24

one

29:24

or more desiring material goods more than

29:27

their relationship. Have one or more longing

29:30

to be

29:31

independent rather than dependent. And I can

29:33

keep going on with those examples, but the

29:36

bottom line

29:36

here is if there is selfishness of one or more

29:39

in the relationship, the Bible is saying you

29:42

can kiss a meaningful relationship goodbye.

29:46

Solid families and marriages are essential

29:50

for the preservation of any society and are

29:53

only possible when you have unselfish

29:56

attitudes.

29:59

You simply, you cannot have a constant clash

30:02

of two selfish people and build any kind of

30:07

meaningful relationship. Here's what's

30:10

necessary is a battle of two people struggling

30:13

to humble

30:14

themselves, both of them. That is what is

30:17

essential right there. And the key to that and

30:20

all relationships

30:21

is to be spirit-filled with a new song being

30:24

thankful in all things and submitting to one

30:27

another. That's what I'm trying to tell you is

30:29

the foundation. That's where everything

30:31

has to start. There's no magic here. There's

30:34

no formula. You don't need some gimmick from a

30:37

self-help book. It's simply a question of this

30:41

, are you committed to the obedience of God's

30:44

Word

30:44

and God's Spirit? That's what it is. Am I

30:47

committed to the controlling influences of the

30:50

Word of God?

30:52

Am I going to live out this Christian life in

30:55

the way that God intends me to as laid out so

30:59

clearly in His Word? That has to be there for

31:02

all this to work. And if you don't start there

31:07

,

31:07

then the rest is just hopeless. Just look at

31:11

our unregenerate society. Even those who have

31:16

the most

31:17

money and power and fame. How often are their

31:21

lives just spilled out in the media and they

31:25

're

31:25

just dumpster fires? They have everything that

31:28

the world that they could desire in their

31:31

lives are

31:32

complete disaster zones. And again, listen to

31:36

me good now. I'm not saying that spirit-filled

31:40

marriages are perfect. When we walk in the

31:44

flesh, we lose every time. But when we're

31:48

walking in the

31:49

spirit, two people are walking in the spirit.

31:52

That's the best it can be. I go back to my

31:55

text,

31:55

look at verse 21 again. You may be thinking,

31:59

well, wait a minute. If everybody is

32:04

submitting to one

32:06

another, then nobody's in charge. If we're all

32:10

submitting to one another, not so. And let me

32:15

explain to you how. God has designed authority

32:20

and order in all of our relationships. In 1

32:24

Corinthians

32:25

11-3, a tremendous verse. Paul writes this, "

32:29

But I want you to understand that Christ is the

32:33

head

32:33

of every man, and the man is the head of a

32:35

woman, and God is the head of Christ." There

32:40

is God's

32:41

way. God has an order of things. There is an

32:45

authority in the family. There is an authority

32:49

at the father level. The man is the head of

32:52

the household. He is the protector. He is the

32:56

provider.

32:57

There is an authority over children at the

33:01

parent level. Both parents. There is, of

33:05

course,

33:05

as I've already illustrated to you, a general

33:08

submission to one another, husband and wife.

33:11

But at the same time, there are also God-ord

33:14

ained roles of authority. And the perfect

33:18

picture of

33:19

this, go back into that 1 Corinthians 11-3

33:21

that I just quoted, "Christ is the head of

33:23

every man,

33:24

and the man is the head of a woman, and God is

33:26

the head of Christ." Now, real quick,

33:28

parentheses, I need to make a serious

33:30

theological footnote right here. Is God

33:34

superior to Christ?

33:35

No. Why? Well, is God of a different essence

33:39

than Christ? No. Are God and Christ one? Yes.

33:46

Okay? So, what God is the head of Christ means

33:50

is that in the makeup of the Trinity and in

33:54

the

33:55

economy of redemption, God the Son totally

33:59

equal in essence with God the Father, but in

34:04

His role

34:04

as the Son submitted Himself to the plans and

34:07

purposes of the Father. There is an order that

34:11

God has even within the actions and the

34:14

operations of the persons, the three persons

34:17

of the Trinity

34:18

in the drama of redemption. When Jesus

34:21

willingly submitted Himself to the plan of the

34:25

Father,

34:25

He was still equal in all ways with the rest

34:29

of the Trinity, but also at the same exact

34:33

time He was

34:33

submitting to the will of the Father. Now,

34:36

look, you're not going to get, with your human

34:38

reasoning,

34:38

the inner workings of the Trinity, one God,

34:41

three persons at the same time, but you can

34:43

get the

34:43

concept of that, right? Think of Jesus equal

34:49

and yet submissive and also Jesus willingly

34:55

submitted

34:56

Himself to the needs of man by becoming one of

35:00

us. And in submitting to the Father's plan,

35:05

He came and carried out the greatest act of un

35:09

selfish love ever, dying on the cross as a

35:12

substitute for sinners to satisfy the holy

35:16

justice of God, the Father. He was the King

35:19

that became a servant. He was the rich man

35:22

that became poor. He was the sinless one who

35:25

bore all

35:25

our sins. He was the author of life who went

35:29

through death for our sakes. And so this third

35:33

person, 1st Corinthians 11, is so profound.

35:37

Jesus was equal with God and yet at the same

35:40

time

35:40

He submitted in His role as the Son to the

35:43

Father. He was over man. He was Lord and He is

35:47

Lord in

35:47

every way and yet He submitted to man at the

35:50

point of the greatest need of man. Salvation.

35:55

Look at Romans 12-10. Beated, voted to one

35:57

another in brotherly love, give preference to

36:02

one another

36:03

in honor. The idea. And my major point here

36:07

today is this. Before we can get into talking

36:11

about the

36:11

role of the wife and the role of the husband

36:13

and the parents and the children, we have to

36:15

talk about

36:16

the role of everybody in the family of God

36:18

submitting to one another. Again, that's the

36:21

groundwork.

36:22

That's the foundation. Remember in Galatians 3

36:24

-28, for all believers there's neither Jew nor

36:27

Greek,

36:27

there's neither slave nor free man, there's

36:30

neither male nor female, for you are all one

36:34

in Jesus

36:35

Christ. Again, none of us is spiritually

36:39

superior to any other Christian. We're all one

36:43

. My wife

36:44

is a believer. My kids are believers. We are

36:48

all equal on a spiritual level. The ground is

36:51

level

36:52

at the foot of the cross. You've heard me say

36:53

that many times and many other preachers have

36:55

said it

36:55

too. And yet, at the same exact time, God has

37:01

designed a structure, an order, and an

37:05

authority

37:06

within the family. There's an authority given

37:09

to the Father. Again, an authority given to

37:12

the parents.

37:12

If all in the family are believers, that doesn

37:16

't cancel out spiritual equality.

37:20

It just says, God has a design, a design. He

37:24

has roles. He has duties for the different

37:28

members of a family to carry out. It's the

37:30

same thing in the church. Look at 1 Timothy 5-

37:32

17.

37:32

The elders who suggest well. Is that what it

37:39

says? The elders, pastors, synonymous, who

37:44

rule well

37:45

are to be considered worthy of double honor,

37:47

especially those who work hard at preaching

37:50

and

37:50

teaching. God has an order in the church. The

37:54

elders are the shepherds of the flock. The

37:58

Bible

37:58

says the elders rule well with the people in

38:01

the church and the people in the church are to

38:03

submit

38:03

to their elders, to their leadership, as the

38:06

elders have to give an account to God who is

38:09

over them

38:10

for their ministry. But that doesn't make the

38:14

elders, the pastors, spiritually superior to

38:17

the

38:17

believers in the flock. All that that means is

38:21

we have different roles to carry out. Even in

38:25

my role as your pastor, guess what? I have to

38:29

operate with an attitude of submission to you

38:34

as a fellow believer and at the same time have

38:38

authority over you in my God ordained role as

38:42

your pastor. Even within the plurality of

38:46

elders. I don't care if you got two like we

38:49

got, I don't

38:50

care if you got 20. The elders are equal in

38:52

authority in the church, but in every group of

38:55

elders

38:55

there has to be a head among equals. That's me

38:58

. You can give it whatever title you want,

39:00

senior pastor, lead pastor. Roger Dale is

39:04

equal in authority with me as my fellow elder

39:07

and yet

39:07

at the same time he's to submit to me as a

39:10

head among equals because God has designed

39:14

this order

39:16

of authority in the church, in the family.

39:19

That doesn't make me spiritually superior to

39:22

Roger

39:22

Dale. We just have different roles and guess

39:27

what? In my role I will be held the most

39:31

accountable for

39:31

this ministry when I die and stand before God

39:35

and Roger Dale, guess what? He will have more

39:38

accountability than you for his role that he's

39:41

played in the ministry of our church. The only

39:44

other office in the church, the decads, they

39:47

have roles. They will be held more accountable

39:50

than you when they stand before God for what

39:53

they did in their ministry. What I'm trying to

39:56

get you

39:56

to see is God has a design set of the way he

40:01

wants things to function amongst God's people

40:06

in the church and it's the same exact thing in

40:10

the family. You getting a picture?

40:13

This is the way things work in a marriage.

40:16

This is the way things work in the church.

40:20

This is the way things work in the family, in

40:23

my marriage. There is an equal submission

40:27

that Christy and I have to each other just

40:31

like we have with all of you as fellow

40:34

believers but

40:35

at the same time we got different roles and

40:37

look we're going to get into the details of

40:40

this in

40:40

the text or head but as the man I have the

40:43

role of the authority over my household, guess

40:47

what that

40:47

makes me? The most accountable to God for my

40:50

household. I'm the protector. I'm the provider

40:53

in my role. I have certain duties and

40:55

responsibilities to carry out just as she does

40:58

just as my children

41:00

do. Now that doesn't make me superior to

41:03

Christy in any way. I don't come home like

41:06

some kind of

41:07

monarch to be served and dominate Christy in

41:11

some oppressive way. Like my old boss that

41:15

Solomon

41:16

all used to say, "Oh, I run my house. I run

41:18

the vacuum. I run the broom." Come to my house

41:23

.

41:23

You got to come correct with Christy. We're

41:26

equally submitting but I'm wiping down the

41:28

countertops.

41:29

I'm sweeping up, right? That's how it works.

41:33

But the monarch, the domineering man, that's

41:40

how the

41:41

world perceives why submit to your husbands

41:44

when we say that, when we quote that out of

41:47

Scripture.

41:48

That's what they think we mean and it's not.

41:51

Let me give you one more example from the

41:53

church

41:53

and we're going to wrap this up today because

41:55

I could probably go on for a while here.

41:57

Any right here? This is a major problem in the

42:02

church in America and it used to not be,

42:04

not very long ago but it is now. 1 Timothy 2,

42:07

12 and 14, "But I do not allow a woman to

42:09

teach

42:10

or exercise authority over a man but to remain

42:13

quiet for it was Adam who was first created

42:16

and

42:16

then Eve and it was not Adam who was deceived

42:19

but the woman being deceived fell into trans

42:21

gression."

42:22

Now there's a lot going on in them three

42:23

verses right there but let me, I'm just going

42:25

to pull

42:25

two things out for right now, okay? From the

42:29

very beginning, from the very first day Adam

42:33

was created,

42:34

God had an order in place. God put Adam in

42:38

authority over Eve. They had equal submission

42:43

to one another just like me and Christy had,

42:45

just like we have with all of you but they had

42:49

different roles. Is that too hard to

42:51

understand? And guess what? Even though it's

42:54

clear in this

42:56

passage and in Genesis who it was that was

42:59

deceived in the garden, guess who was held

43:03

most accountable for the fall in the garden?

43:06

It wasn't Eve. It was Adam. He was held most

43:12

accountable. Why? Because of his role. That's

43:16

why. And this verse also makes it very clear

43:20

there are to be no women in the role of

43:22

authority over men in the church. Feminists

43:24

can lose their

43:25

minds. I don't care. This is God's way. This

43:30

is what God has ordained for men to be the

43:34

head

43:35

of the church. Any woman who is serving as a

43:38

pastor is operating in direct disobedience

43:41

to the God-ordained roles of authority in the

43:44

church. Bar none. It's not even debatable.

43:48

Now listen. That does not mean that men are

43:53

spiritually superior to women in the church.

43:58

That does not mean men are more intelligent,

44:01

more theologically knowledgeable, even more

44:04

capable to be a pastor or superior in any way

44:07

to women. What does it mean? It's simple.

44:10

God has ordained a structure of authority in

44:14

the church. He's given it clearly in His word

44:17

and the issue is are we going to follow it or

44:19

are we not going to follow it?

44:20

Are we going to follow the feminism of our

44:23

culture or are we going to follow the Bible?

44:25

It's that simple. At the same time, equal

44:31

submission at the same time between men and

44:34

women in the church. We all folks have our

44:36

different roles to carry out. And what we're

44:38

fixing to study in the days ahead is God's

44:41

design for order and for structure in

44:44

marriages

44:45

and in the family. And either we're going to

44:47

submit to what God's word says or we're going

44:48

to go the

44:49

world's way. Every year, I want you to think

44:52

about this. On average, there are a little

44:56

over

44:57

2 million first time marriages in the United

45:00

States of America. And again, I'll quote it,

45:03

of those 2 million marriages, 41% of them end

45:06

in divorce. Out of those who go on to marry

45:09

again,

45:09

as I said a second time, 60 to 70% of those

45:13

end in divorce. It's a tragic reality and a

45:17

major

45:18

contributor to the breakdown of the family in

45:20

our nation. So when we think about this whole

45:23

subject

45:23

of the family, again, there's God's way and

45:28

there's man's way. And we have to think about

45:33

the broader

45:34

spiritual issues before we can ever get to the

45:37

specifics that we're fixing to get into with

45:40

God's way or anything else. Anything else is a

45:44

battle for our own way. When we reject God's

45:48

way,

45:48

what we're saying is, no, close this. We don't

45:51

know that can't be right. We're going to go

45:54

our way.

45:55

And it's clear to see how that way is working

46:00

out in our nation. Let's pray.

46:03

Father, we thank you that you have so very

46:07

clearly laid out a way and a structure and an

46:12

order for the family, for our marriages, for

46:14

the church. Help us, Lord, to be humble.

46:18

We have to not go our own way, but to submit

46:22

to your way because your way is always best.

46:26

Well, I thank you for the unity and the love

46:28

that we have for one another here at our

46:31

church.

46:32

I thank you, Father, that it's only by

46:35

sovereign grace that we follow your order,

46:37

because left to ourselves, we would go our own

46:39

way. But it's your grace and your working in

46:43

our

46:43

lives that has steered us in the direction of

46:46

your Word's way of ordering and structuring

46:49

everything in our life. And for that, we give

46:53

you all the glory. In Jesus' name, we pray.

46:58

Amen.

46:59

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