you have your Bibles. Turn with me or you can
look upon the screen. Ephesians chapter number
six,
verse number one. If you can believe this, we
've actually come to the last chapter in Ephes
ians.
I don't know how long we've been in Ephesians,
but we've been here for a while and we've got
a little ways to go yet. It's been such a
great epistle. It's so rich with theology and
then
practical wisdom and we've been working our
way through God's ordained design for the
family
since verse 22 of chapter five. Do you
remember Paul started with the wives and then
he moved to
the husbands and we actually spent six sermons
in total covering that ground. And next here
in our
text, we move to the children and the parents.
Now, I'm kind of speeding it up a little. What
I
decided to do was condense this section down
into one sermon versus one to four, Lord
willing for
today. But before we begin, I will repeat the
phrase that I think in plain language summar
izes
all of Paul's writing in the area of Christian
living. And that is the phrase that I often
use,
the gold standard. And we all understand what
that means. And what we have once again before
us
today is the gold standard, biblically
speaking for both children and parents and how
they are to
behave. And also once again, I will start with
this disclaimer. No one will be more convicted
from what I present to you today than me. No
one as the God ordained spiritual leader of my
household
when when we were raising our children,
Christian, I can I have no problem telling you
that I fell
woefully short of this gold standard for the
family from the word of God on a regular basis
.
Oh, that I could go back with what I know now.
Things would be very different.
But I also think that if all parents are
honest, all parents, once their children
become adults,
most likely feel exactly the same way. And it
's not just because of the experience that
you gain over the years, you only get one
trial run at being a parent, right?
And just not because of the experience alone,
you obviously feel when you get to the end
that you
could go back and do a better job, but
particularly for Christians. It's your growth
spiritually
over the years, not only your increase in
spiritual knowledge, but also your growth
in sanctification over the years that really
convicts you when you look back at the job
that
you did and comparing with what we're going to
hear today. So parents, most of you in here,
all of you, I would say that our parents with
adult children get ready to be uncomfortable
today. And so we'll begin with chapter six and
verse one through four. I say that all the
time,
don't I? I mean, that's why we stay so small.
Let's read together our text for today.
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for
this is right. Honor your father and mother,
which is the first commandment with a promise,
so that it may be well with you and that you
may
live long on the earth. Fathers, do not
provoke your children to anger, but bring them
up in the
discipline and instruction of the Lord." Now,
those verses are very succinct in their
content,
but at the same time, as often it happens in
the Word of God, they really cover everything
with this subject. And there are a lot of
places that you and I can go to get really bad
advice
about how to lead a family. But I submit to
you again that the best advice, the best
design and
instruction that exists for the family is
again right here in Ephesians chapter five and
six.
We all already know that for quite some time
in our culture, the family has been under
assault,
horrific assault. Man are labeled as having a
toxic masculinity and either we, as men, are
viewed
as a toxic patriarchy that has this
destructive impact upon society or so often in
our movies and
TV shows, the weak, shallow, doofus dad that
you see that nobody respects and is constantly
made fun
of in our movies and television shows. And of
course, that's on purpose in the framework of
this
continuous assault upon the family. And then
there's leftist feminism rooted, of course,
and Marxism has all leftist ideology is and it
cast women, all women as abused targets
of toxic masculinity and men are the oppress
ors of women and all the women are oppressed in
that
system. And we are as men are all holding
women back from their true fulfillment of
being the
girl boss in the corporate world. And because
we keep all the women barefoot and pregnant at
the
house. And of course, old slewfoot is always
at work in the unseen realm, influencing our
entertainment and these examples and a whole
lot of other examples that I could give you
here in
this in this relentless assault that is taking
place against the traditional family in our
society.
Today, it's commonly held. Nobody needs to get
married unless they want to be. I mean, you
can
live together. You can just be single without
any regard whatsoever for God's clear prohib
ition
against sex outside of marriage is clear
teaching that he wants young men and women to
be married
and not to live together. And a woman finds
herself pregnant today. The majority report
married or not. And the child is viewed as an
intrusion or hindrance to her personal freedom
.
Will just kill the baby. Just snuff out its
life in the womb. The overturning of Roe
versus Wade.
As you know, turn the issue of baby murder
back to the states and in 10 states,
including the District of Columbia, right now,
a woman can legally murder her baby right up
to the moment of natural birth. Now, all
abortion, when you really think of what takes
place in an
abortion, which they don't like to think about
on the other side over there at all, is just
absolutely
barbaric, right? And especially trying to
think about up to the moment of birth and in
our state,
while performing an abortion now is illegal,
which is great, except in the case where the
life of the mother is at risk. That's the law
in Louisiana. That law does not include
killing a mother killing her baby with an
abortion pill at home. That is not part of the
law. That
is legal. And as a result, that has made more
abortions occurring now in our state, in the
bathrooms and living rooms or wherever in the
home of women who are killing their baby more
than ever before. So you see the problem now
there, right? But in this morally upside down
society, while the the pro-choice crowd
actually views our pro-life position as being
immoral,
they say our position is immoral for pro-life.
If I were to set up and advertise a puppy
abortion
meal in this building right here on Hooper
Road, the leftist would be lined up outside to
riot
my place of business here in this building. No
question. So all of this, as well as other
issues,
like what children are being indoctrinated
into in our public school systems and
universities and
the whole demonic realm of transgenderism and
its continual desire to deceive our children,
make it clear that really and truly the only
real hope for the family in our society here
in America
is to return to the Word of God and His design
for this relationship between children and
parents.
Psalm 127 verse 3 says this, "Behold, children
are a gift from the Lord."
In Mark 10 you may remember when the disciples
were rebuking people who were trying to bring
their
children to Jesus. It says in verse 14, "But
when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said
to them,
'Permit the children to come to me. Do not h
inder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to
such
as these.'" So I quote those verses because
that's where we have to start. We have to
start in with
how God views children. They are gifts from
Him and parents are given this tremendous
responsibility
to be good stewards of God's gift that
children are. That's why it says toward the
end of verse
four here in our text, look at it at the end,
"Bring them up in the discipline and
instruction
of the Lord." So let's look first at the duty
of the children in verse one. Look again with
me,
verse one, "Children obey your parents in the
Lord for this is right." Now the Greek word
for
children here refers to children who are old
enough to understand obedience and acting in
an
obedient way in honor of their parents. Let's
not talk about little babies. There's a
different
Greek word for infants. This is small children
all the way up through teenage time before
they
start their adult life. That's who we're
talking about here. Then they have two
commands. Verse one,
"Obey your parents in the Lord." Verse two, "H
onor, honor your father and mother."
"Obey and honor those two go together." "Obed
ience is an action, honor is an attitude."
And this is a part of God's moral law in the
Ten Commandments. Look into Exodus 20 verse 12
.
"Honor your father and your mother." I mean
this is necessary even for societal stability.
I mean
God is so serious about this that later in the
book of Exodus he prescribes the death penalty
for disobedience to parents. Look with me in
Exodus 20 verses 15 and 17. Disrespect for
parents in
both a physical and verbal way was a capital
offense. Verse 15, "He who strikes his father
or mother
shall surely be put to death." Verse 17, "He
who curses his father or mother shall surely
be put
to death." And that's because God knows that
children like this are a devastation when they
get older to any society. Now the book of Pro
verbs gives us a lot of wisdom in this area.
Look at
Proverbs verse chapter 1 verse 8, "Hear my son
, your father's instruction, and do not forsake
your
mother's teaching." That's a command right
there. Proverbs chapter 4 verses 1 to 2, "Hear
, O sons,
the instruction of a father, and give
attention that you may give understanding."
Verse 2, "For I
give you sound teaching, do not abandon my
instruction." There are many more like that
in the Proverbs and in every one of them the
parent is in the position of commander.
That's the parent's responsibility and the
children are in the position of obedience. Now
as everybody here well knows, that is a very
challenging reality for everyone involved,
both the children and the parents. Luke
chapter 2 verse 52 is always very fascinating
to think about
how it actually worked out with Jesus because
we don't get really any detail and what I'm
talking
about here. Look there in verse 52 of Luke 2,
"And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and st
ature
in favor with God and men." And I want to tell
Luke, can you give me a little more detail
there
buddy on what all that worked right? But we
don't get that just because God only wants you
to know
that right there. But that was without sin,
perfectly righteous as a man, a God man, but
still clear
that he needed to increase in wisdom, increase
in stature, increase in favor with God and men
. Now
I won't go all into all the speculations and
different theories on all of that, but I give
you
that verse to show you that that is a great
guideline right there as four categories in
which
children develop. Think about it, wisdom is
mental, stature is physical, favor with men is
social,
and favor with God is spiritual. Now of course
our children are not like Jesus, the sinless
Son
of God. We have to take on into our homes
these little fallen reprobates that first come
to us
disguised as cute little babies. That's the
disguise, and they have to grow.
They have to grow mentally, physically,
socially, and spiritually, and we have to care
for them
and develop them in all four of those primary
categories. We have to teach them how to think
,
we have to teach them how to work, we have to
teach them how to relate and interact with
other
people, and we have to teach them how to
relate to God. We prepare them and we work
hard to make
a place for them in this world, in this
instruction that we give in this area. This is
our responsibility
with these good gifts from God that children
are, and as Christians we have a
responsibility to our
children to see them for exactly what they are
, just like us. Naturally simple, in need of
the
gospel, as well as in need of the kind of
development that biblical parenting is
designed by God right
here in these verses to provide. Parents have
a responsibility to teach their children to be
obedient. Look at Colossians 3 verse 20 says
this, "Children, be obedient to your parents
in all things, for this is well pleasing to
the Lord." Now to be obedient, that's what we
call a
present imperative. What that means is this,
keep on doing this, keep on obeying. The hard
part is
it's the parent's job to teach the children to
listen and not only to listen but to submit
to what you say, and that's not easy because
they are all naturally wired as a result of
the fall,
natural condition to do what? The opposite of
listening and submitting to what we say, just
as we were when we were children to varying
degrees and levels. It's really a whole lot
easier
to just let the kids run wild, and
unfortunately that's what a lot of parents,
especially here in
our day, do, and the results later are the
results of the adults that we see in our
society that now
today are causing so much trouble. But most of
all, why? Why do we do this? We'll go back to
Ephesians
6-1. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord,
for this is right." Do you know that that's
the best
answer that you can ever give your child or
your grandchild when your child says, or your
grandchild
says for most of us in here, why do I have to
do that? Why do I have to do this? Because it
's right,
huh? In every case, it's either right or it's
wrong, full stop. Pretty simple. When you do
that,
you are teaching them that there are absolutes
in this world. You don't need to give a
philosophical defense of any behavior that you
require if it's consistent with the word of
God. Let the liberals and the leftists give
all those reasons. And having your children
obey those
things is consistent with the word of God.
Most of our culture, as you well know, doesn't
believe
in absolutes. And that's what's being fed to
our kids continuously in media, online, public
school
system, universities all across our country.
What are they teaching? You can believe
anything you
want. You can believe any religion you want.
You don't even have to believe in God. It
doesn't
matter. That is your truth and you're entitled
to it. You can define right and wrong in a way
that
you want to. And that's how you get so many
people now in our day who say, hey, Christians
,
if you oppose homosexual marriage, transgender
ism and the murder of the unborn, you're imm
oral.
It's immoral to think that way, those thoughts
and those positions that you have. To say that
,
they say that because why? They have created
their own definition of what morality is.
And it's not according to what the word of God
says. When people come at me, let's say, look,
I'm not judging you. I don't have any right to
judge you. I'm giving you what the word of God
says.
God is judging you from his word. I'm simply
telling you that I believe this book is his
word
and I'm simply telling you what he says. You
say to your kid, you're doing this
because it's right. God said this is right
because God is the one who defines morality
and because God is the one who decides what is
right and wrong and not you and not me.
Psalm 119.75 says this, I know, oh, Lord, that
your judgments are what? Righteous.
Why are they righteous? They're righteous
because they come from him
because he is perfectly righteous. So children
are to obey righteous commands from God that
are passed on through their parents. Now, is
there ever a time when they are not to obey
their parents?
Well, sure. Can you imagine? I never thought
about this until I did this study. Can you
imagine,
especially in the early church days, how many
Jewish children were absolutely forbidden by
their
parents to believe in Jesus as the church was
getting started? Just forbidden. Even if they
saw him do miracles, it still happens today.
How about Muslim children? Absolutely
forbidden
to believe in Christ according to Scripture
alone by their parents.
That's where the break has to come in
obedience, right? In fact, Jesus said in
Matthew 10.37,
"He who loves father or mother more than me is
not worthy of me." At what point do you make
the
break when your father and mother forbid you
to do what God commands, when your father and
mother
forbid you to come to Christ on his terms of
repentance and faith? Notice again, verse one,
children obey your parents in the Lord.
Children who obey their parents in the Lord
because
they are in the Lord. Just like with the
government, children are not to obey parents
when they are
directly defying the commandments of Scripture
. And then look at verse two. It starts out,
honor your father and mother. That is the
attitude that corresponds to the act of
obedience. It's
not reluctant. It's not rebellious. It's not
unwilling. It is with honor. The Greek word
actually there can be used of awe and respect.
And then next, look in verse two, Paul says,
"Which is the first commandment with a promise
." This is the fifth of the Ten Commandments.
The
first four, as you know, have to do with our
relationship to God. The last six have to do
with our relationship to each other. And this
fifth one is unique because he says,
"It's the first one with a promise." And what
's the promise? Look next in verse three,
"So that it may be well with you children, and
that you may live long on the earth."
Look, this is in the Ten Commandments that God
wrote in stone on Mount Sinai. So do you think
that God is serious about this? Of course,
this obedience is not natural. As I said, all
people
are born reprobates, rebellious towards God
with a fallen nature. So how do we then get
these little
reprobates to honor their father and their
mother? Well, that's the hard part. You have
to develop
that. Look at Proverbs three, verse 11 and 12.
It says, "My son, do not reject the discipline
of the Lord, or loathe his reproof, for whom
the Lord loves, he reproves, even as a father
corrects the son in whom he delights." Now,
big picture, that verse there for all
believers,
when we get out of line in the Christian life,
God disciplines us. He reproves us,
and he does it, listen carefully, not out of
wrath against us, because Jesus took upon
himself
every ounce of wrath that we deserve as a
substitute on the cross. So keep your thinking
straight. No, when God disciplines believers,
it's not because of wrath, it's because he
loves us.
That's what this verse says. Just like the
same reason for why we discipline our kids,
because we love them. The proper motive for
discipline is love, because you want what's
best for them. And what's best for them is to
act right, according to God's word, just like
for us
as Christians. God knows what's best for me
and you, Christian. He knows what's best for
us
is when we are living life at a spiritually
high level. He knows that what is best for us
is when
we are walking after the Spirit, in the Spirit
, and not after the flesh. And when we are not
living
that way, and we get out of line with that, he
knows that is not what is best for us in the
Christian
life. And because he loves us, he wants what's
best for us and he disciplines us. We're going
to read that later. They were getting so out
of line in the church at Corinth, we read at
every
Lord's Supper that the Bible was clear.
Because of your craziness in the Lord's Supper
and how
you're acting so disobediently, many of you
are sick. That's the chastening. They were
physically
ill and some of you died. He just took you
right out. Just took you right out because you
couldn't
handle it. You just couldn't handle it anymore
. Proverbs 10, 13 gets real specific. "On the
lips
of the discerning wisdom is found, but a rod
is for the back of him who lacks understanding
."
What is that? Corporal punishment. And back is
literally the backside. Now,
just as an aside, that needs to be rightly
done. You never whip a kid in anger,
in the heat of the moment, and just jerk them
up and whip them. No, you have to be wise
about how
you do it if you want the best result of the
pain that the whipping calls for. Take them to
the side,
explain to them, this is what you did. This is
why you're getting this punishment of the
whipping.
We used to use the wood spoon, the flat wood
spoon. And there was a saying, my kids will
tell you
right now, they remember today, wood to skin.
Wood to skin. If I said, hey, there's going to
be some
wood to skin here, if you all don't settle
down. Hey, they knew. Shoe, shoe works.
Anything that can
be used on the backside. But kids need weapons
. They do. That's exactly what this means. They
need
weapons. Looking at, I love Proverbs 19, 18.
Look what it says. Discipline your son while
there is
still hope, while there is hope, and do not
desire his death. So there's a choice.
You can discipline your son or desire his
death. If you don't discipline your son,
I'm telling you he is headed for disaster as
an adult and eventually death, of course.
While there is still hope, wow, what a phrase.
You know what that means?
That refers to the short window of time that
you have with that child. I think back to my
children's
kindergarten to 12th grade now. And it just
went by in a flash. You don't get them for
very long.
But the reason for this discipline is Proverbs
22, 15.
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a
child. Now, we have to admit sometimes that
foolishness
is funny, right? And we laugh. I'm telling you
, there's a never-ending source of comedy and
entertainment at my home when my grandchildren
are at my home. And we laugh because it is
funny.
But sometimes it's not, right? And that's why
it says next in this verse,
the rod of discipline will remove it far from
him, that foolishness. It'll get that foolish
ness out.
But let's be real. For most of us, I would,
dare I say, all of us in this room who have
had
children, that time period has passed for us.
I mean, we've all, all of our children have
run
into adulthood. But what you can do with the
information you're getting today
is pass down the biblical reality for your
kids who have kids, your grandkids or friends
of yours
who have kids, that the rod, the rod will
remove that natural foolishness from a child.
That's God's
word. That's God's instruction. They need to
associate pain with misbehavior. That's God's
way.
I'm not making this up. This is what the word
of God is saying over and over. Look at Pro
verbs 23,
13. This is the one I really like. I wasn't
referring to that one. This is the one I
really like.
So do not hold back discipline from the child.
Although you strike him with the rod, he will
not die. This is for weak parents who are
worried about being too vis, physically
violent with their
kid. They bought into this therapist,
therapeutic leftist mode. Oh, let's go talk
about your feelings,
little Johnny, instead of getting a weapon,
which is what you need, right? God's word says
, spank him.
That's what it says. They won't die from it
when you spank him. If you do it rightly, you
know,
it's best on the backside. Plenty of cushion
there, right? For that and a spoon or whatever
shoe.
Because look next. Look next in verse 14 and
then it gets real serious.
You shall strike him with the rod and rescue
his soul from shield. Wow. That's hell.
That's serious, right? If you don't use the
rod to discipline your child. Proverbs 29, 15.
The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child
who gets his own way brings shame to his
mother.
Are you getting what the Bible is putting down
here? You don't give their kids their own way.
You
spank them when they get out of line. Verse 17
, correct your son and he will give you comfort
.
He will also delight your soul. This is a
simple principle. So how, how do you train a
child to
obey and honor with discipline? By telling
them what's right and training them with
discipline
to conform to what is right, both in action
and in attitude. Now, why do you do this?
Again,
back to Ephesians 6, 3. So that it may be well
with you, meaning them, the children in the
context
when you read the whole thing there, because
it's talking about honor your father and
mother,
so that it may be well with you when you do
that. And living long on the earth. Now,
let me remind you, this is a general principle
here, okay? This is not an absolute reality in
every single case, but it is indeed a general
principle. Children who have been biblically
raised,
who have been biblically disciplined, who
become godly adults will be living a blessed
life,
and it will be well with them. That's the
quality part. And then also a long life, the
Bible says
here. That's the quantity. And what do we want
? I mean, we all want this for our children,
right?
Full, rich, joyous, happy, peaceful, rewarding
lives. And the key to that, this text is
saying,
is to discipline the children with obedience,
discipline them to obedience and honor
when they're young. And then next, the how-to.
Verse four, fathers, do not provoke your
children to
anger, but bring them up in the discipline and
instruction of the Lord. That's the duty of
the
parents. Children are to be raised primarily
with two things. It's pretty simple, truth and
discipline.
The Greek word there for fathers, peter, can
also be translated parents. It can also mean
parents. So really, its parents do not provoke
your children to anger. Don't make them angry,
mad
in the wrong kind of way. That's abuse. Excuse
me, but what does that mean? Don't provoke
them
to anger. Well, first, there were a lot of
angry children during Paul's day, just like
there are
today. For example, there was a Roman law
called patria potestis. And what that meant
was legally,
the father had absolute, total sovereign rule
over the right of life and death of the
children.
He could sell them into slavery if he wanted
to legally. He could force them to work in the
fields
legally. Excuse me, he could punish them any
way that he wanted to. And guess what? He
could even
kill his own child legally if he wanted to.
When a baby was born in the Roman world,
the custom was to put the baby at the father's
feet. If he lifted the child up, that meant he
wanted to keep that child. If he turned and
walked away, most times the child was killed
on the spot.
Or unwanted children were also, they just left
them out there in the Roman
form out in the town square. And they became
brutal slaves, prostitutes, just left to the
world.
A philosopher at the time was named Seneca. He
wrote this, "We slaughter a fierce ox,
a mad dog. We plunge the knife into the sick
cattle. Children who are born weakened,
deformed. We drown." That's what they did.
Children were horrifically abused in Roman
culture.
And that's why, again, understand, read these
words that Paul is writing to the church in
this
culture. What he's saying here is absolutely
revolutionary. Now, there are four factors.
I want you, if you're writing this down, this
is a good thing to write down. If you're
writing notes
down, there are four factors in biblical
parenting. And I won't unpack all of this. I'm
just going to
give them to you. Number one, the father's
leading and discipline. He has to be the
spiritual leader
of the household that God calls him to be.
Number two, the mother's love and care and
nurturing
of the children. Number three, very important,
the father and mother's visible affection for
one
another that the children see. And number four
, the closeness of the family. Be surprised.
Now,
the very few things that Christy and I did
right, we made sure, because Christy always is
just a
champion in the homemaking, always come home
from eight hours of work and cook a meal. And
we sat
down together at the table every night and ate
a meal. Very important. How was your day? What
's
going on? Very, so many families don't do that
anymore. And again, I look, I'm not saying
that
you can achieve all that perfectly. Don't get
me wrong. I'm not because there's nothing that
we
do perfectly for that matter. But what I'm
giving you is the gold standard that you are
to strive for.
You understand? And this can be achieved in
the power of the Holy Spirit. Now let's go
back to the
start of verse four. "Fathers, parents, do not
provoke your children to anger." Now, we got a
lot
of angry children in this culture, don't we?
Man, get online. They're angry with their
parents.
They're angry with society. They're angry with
everything, and they don't have it nowhere
near
as hard as the Roman kids did, right? I mean,
not even close. But let's ask this question.
How do you make your child angry? Let me give
you a little list. Number one,
overprotection. Pensing them in too much, conf
ining them to a small little world,
distrusting them, never allowing them any
freedom. Now, there's a fine line which I
often fail that
between freedom and protection, right? You
have to be discerning in how you do this. But
overprotection
becomes a bondage. I know kids who were way
too strictly raised in the moment they got to
get
out of the house. They went hog wild. But on
the other hand, too much freedom can have as
just as
disastrous results and just let them run wild.
Secondly, don't compare them with others like
siblings or friends. Like, why don't you act
like Billy over here? Don't do that. He's a
good boy.
Be like him. That's not good. Thirdly, you can
make them angry with unrealistic expectations.
This is a big one. You can crush a kid under
the weight of your own pride and ambition
because
you want somebody to know you have a road
scholar for a child. And that's really what it
's all about.
Also, you can set standards so high that the
kids feel like they can never attain them. And
that,
right there, can turn into deep bitterness and
feelings of failure and rejection. And there
is
a long history of kids that have committed
suicide over that very issue where the
standards are set
too high. You can cause your child to be angry
by discouragement, constant negative
reinforcement,
no thanks, no rewards, no approval, no honor
whatsoever. That destroys motivation in a kid.
If they feel like they have to earn your love,
I'm telling you that is a disaster in your
home.
We're called to love the kids with grace, same
way God loves us, same exact way, right?
You can make your child angry with selfishness
, failing to sacrifice for them. Let me tell
you,
that's a plague with young parents today. Kids
can become bitter and they feel it. If they
feel
like they're an intrusion upon your life, that
's bitterness comes quick. You can make your
kid
angry through impatient. You have to allow
kids to be a kid at a certain level, right? I
mean,
they're going to break things. Come over to my
house, take a look. They're going to spill
things,
right? They're going to do really dumb things,
right? As their kids. So you have to be
patient
in all of that. There's this line that you
have to work with being patient and discipl
ining and
all the rest. And you can make your children
angry, of course, with neglect. And let me
tell you,
there are some kids that are neglected even
when the parents are physically in the home.
Man, they're not engaged with their children
at all, even though they're physically there.
That's another plague with young parents in
our day. Also, verbal abuse, man. You can
unleash
your mature vocabulary and crush a kid with
sarcasm and ridicule. And you can just
cut them to shreds verbally because you have a
much bigger vocabulary. Lots of ways to do
that.
You know what the answer is? Don't. Don't do
that. And we all know Proverbs 226,
train up a child in the way he should go. Even
when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Again,
that's a general principle, not absolute in
every case, but a good one to follow.
Basically, this is saying this. You train the
child, you get the product. Listen to what
John
MacArthur wrote. "If a child lives with
criticism, he learns to condemn. If a child
lives with hostility,
he learns to fight. If a child lives with
ridicule, he learns to be shy. If a child
lives with shame,
he learns to be guilty. If a child lives with
tolerance, he learns to feel
be patient. If a child lives with
encouragement, he learns to have confidence.
If a child lives
with praise, he learns to appreciate. If a
child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child
lives with security, he learns to trust. And
if a child lives with acceptance and
friendship,
he learns to love. So, this is the challenge.
And it's a big one that all parents have.
Don't make your children angry in these ways
and more. And lastly, let me give you the
positive side.
Look next. But bring them up, verse 4, bring
them up in the discipline and instruction of
the Lord. And there it is again. It keeps
giving us this discipline, instruction, truth,
and discipline.
And also built into instruction is the idea of
warning, verbal instruction with a view to
consequences if you don't obey is built into
this. Now, there's a lot to be said here, but
our time is getting short. So, let me give you
just, just a couple of quick thoughts.
And there's many more to this. I condensed
this because it's just so practical.
Number one, teach your children to fear the
Lord. That's top of the list.
Healthy, biblical, reverential awe. Proverbs 9
-10, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning
of wisdom and the knowledge of the Holy One is
understanding." This is huge. Teach them about
God from the Bible. That's why Christie's back
there on Sundays with kids teaching them from
the Catechism, which is truths from the Bible.
Who made you? Who is God? All the rest.
Teach your children the gospel. All the
aspects of the gospel, whatever they are able
to
grasp, give it to them. Even if they can't
grasp it at first, give it to them straight.
Teach them to fear God. Teach them to speak
the truth.
Psalm 58-3, "The wicked are estranged from the
womb. These who speak lies go astray from
birth."
Understand, you have a born liar in your child
. God hates lying. Have you read about how God
feels
about lying in the Bible? And if you're a good
liar, you will commit crime.
I speak from experience on that one. So
children have to be disciplined not to lie. It
's very big.
There's more of it. Hopefully I've given you
enough to give you some practical
help. Again, even though most of us, like I
said, we've already been through this
process. We have grown kids. Some of us have
grandkids and some of you have friends who can
benefit here from the Bible's example for the
gold standard of Christian living for both
children
and parents. But now if you're like me and you
think back to your time when you raised your
kids,
you've been thoroughly convicted by this gold
standard. If you haven't, please come talk to
me. I'd like to hear your story. Okay? I'd be
real interested to hear all about how great
you did.
But for the rest of us, we are convicted and
rightly so. But right now, at this point in
the
service is our chance to sprint to the gospel
in the Lord's Supper. And we run fast, right?
After hearing this, the person in work of
Christ on our behalf symbolized by the bread
in the cup.
Christianity is great. Is there anything
better than being a Christian? No. No, there
is not.
So let's turn over as we always do. There's my
glasses down there. Wait. Okay. How about that
?
Okay. Let's turn over to 1 Corinthians.
And again, why do I do this? Well, I said it
earlier. These people were out of order.
So the lady at the museum used to say, people
were acting up in the museum,
you all out of order, she would say. These
Corinthians, some of them were all out of
order.
It got wild there in the Lord's Supper. I mean
, they were just up to all kind of bad stuff.
So look there in 1 Corinthians 11, starting in
verse 27, "Therefore, whoever eats the bread
or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy
manner shall be guilty of the body and the
blood of the
Lord. But a man must examine himself and in so
doing he is to eat of the bread and drink of
the cup,
for he who eats and drinks, eats and drinks
judgment to himself if he does not judge the
body
rightly. For this reason, many among you are
weak and sick and a number sleep." So there's
the
chastening of God, what I talked about earlier
. And so we have come to a place, I hope, now
in
our churches, we've gone through this exercise
together many times, where you're able to put
all this together in one line of thinking, but
delineate the different aspects of why we're
quoting this and what it is that we're doing
here. Number one, we want to indicate the
seriousness
of what it is to obey this command in having
the Lord suffer. Number two, we want to
realize that
we're all battling our flesh every day as
Roman seven flesh-struggling creatures. And so
there's
this need, as I tell you all the time, for a
daily asking of forgiveness, which as I always
tell you
is rooted and grounded in the judicial
positional forgiveness of Christ. All sins
paid for,
all wrath taken. We understand that, but while
we're living, we're sinning. So we're being
honest
with God. We're saying, "Man, this flesh
struggle that you have ordained is tough.
Forgive me."
And this is an opportunity that we take that
moment of silence for you to do that and to
understand that the Lord loves you and that
that's why He chastens you. That's why He did
this here
in the Corinthian church. That's why we do it
with our children because we love them,
because we want them to act right. Well, God
wants us to act right. Why? Because He knows
us what's best for us. As I tell you all the
time, when do you feel your best? It's when
you're
walking in the Spirit and you're reading the
Word and you're doing your Bible study and you
're
fellowshiping with other Christians and you're
going to church and you're worshiping with a
real motive to bring glory to God. And only
you and He knows that. You know that
internally and
He knows you better than you know yourself,
right? And so all of those aspects come into
play and when
we think about this Romans 7 struggle that God
has ordained, not only Romans 8/28 for our
good
and His glory, all things, but also just keep
going into verse 29 in order to be conformed
to the image of Christ is the purpose for this
struggle that we have. So we deal with the
struggle.
We deal with the realities. We don't pretend
as if we walk around floating on seven inches
above
the ground because we're so holy. No, we're
being honest here. This is a war that we're in
with our own flesh, right? In which dwells no
good thing, right? The Apostle Paul said,
but our inner redeemed spirit is always des
iring to do that which is right and good and
there's
the fight. So we're just, we're coming to this
table and we're being honest about that, but
not
only are we doing that with great joy, unspeak
able. Once we do that, then we consider Christ.
Then
we consider that it's not our performance as
Christians that gets us right with God or
keeps
us right with God, but it's Christ's
performance on our behalf. It's all about Him.
It's all about
His glory. It's all about the fact that He
suffered and bled and died and rose on the
third day in
fulfillment of the Scriptures for our
justification to make us right with God, to
keep us right with
God and what glory there is. And the realities
that all we have is Christ. At the end of the
day,
I read that quote from Paul Washer the other
day. At the end of the day, I've come to
realize all I
have is Christ. It's all I have is Christ. And
guess what? He is all that we need, right? Now
,
what we're going to do now, bow your hands and
close your eyes. I want you to consider
all those realities. Man, we are very capable
of keeping all that together in one line of
thought.
And I want you to remember that what our
church confession makes clear is that we
believe
that the only people who are able to come to
the Lord's Supper and partake are those who
have
repented of their sins and placed their saving
faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and been
baptized
as an expression of that faith. We want this
table and want to make clear that this table
is for
believers. Now, we call it an open table, as
if somebody comes in off the street and they
're not
a member of our church, they're certainly
welcome if they're a believer to participate.
But this is
for God's people. And that's what you're
standing up to come down here is saying. It's
saying,
I am a believer. I am in the family of God and
I am participating in this command that Jesus
gave us. So, I want you to take just a few
moments and go to the Lord. Go to the Lord